Asmodeus
by 1panic
Summary: AU. Instead of dying, Furuichi is kidnapped by Takamiya, following Lucifer's orders. Ridiculously speculative and gratuitously violent and sexual; OR how Beelzebub would go down if Tamura were coerced into hentai. Hastily written in the wake of 207 with mythological references abound. Oh, and there's a plot too.
1. His Awakening

Asmodeus  
Ridiculously speculative and gratuitously violent; directly follows the events of Babu207. Either going to be a two-shot or three-shot.  
Main characters are Furuichi, Takamiya, Lucifer, Oga, with the other demons mixed in.

* * *

I. His Awakening

* * *

Hear me God, the one God of this world. I am Solomon, warrior of justice, banisher of evil, and I have sealed away the demon of lust today.

Restrictions, these the fates demand upon me. Very well, I tell them. Listen carefully, for here they are.

The cage of this demon shall be like previous cages: a child born to man and woman of flesh and blood, with no right nor ambition to any throne of the world. Good, the fates say, for I am king.

This child will need to be more intelligent than his brethren, so that they will not succumb to the temptation of violence. Good, the fates say, for I am just.

This person will, above all, be able to retain their own identity of flesh and blood, so that they will never collapse under the title of 'cage'. Good, the fates say, for I am righteous.

As I have said, and thus, let it be so.

* * *

Oga's howl cuts through the night as he charges whole-heartedly at Takamiya.

Himekawa was right, but only up until a point. Sadly, Oga is unquestionably distracted; his punches lack substance and his stance is filled with holes. The child of the demon king seems to be half-falling off his shoulders and when he tries to land a kick on Takamiya, the contact is barely enough to bruise much less bleed. Takamiya laughs - laughs and laughs and laughs - because it _was_ ridiculous to expect so much from a stripling apprentice of his teacher.

Still, a fight is a fight and a fight isn't over until someone can't fight. It's almost like clockwork (that is: boring), but he goes through the motions nonetheless, screaming obscenities in the heat of the moment.

"You're so weak! You're so pathetic! You thought you had something to protect? You were wrong!"

And so on and so forth.

Through it all, Lucifer stands to the side, observing, but not participating. He finds it strange; normally she is the one who moves first, painting everything in effervescent sworls of red, but he doesn't mind the change in pace either. Let her see how much he's grown; let her see how little use he has for her power.

But right as he's about to land the finishing blow, she intervenes, moving across the length of the hallway in the blink of an eye. She holds out a hand, doesn't even bother touching him, and - like a hound to its master - he stops in his tracks.

"I thought you said I could kill him," he gasps out, adrenaline still rushing through his veins.

"I did," she replies, maddeningly simple as usual. She's changed her mind evidently.

He snorts, dropping the well-unconscious black-and-blue high schooler. Although it is tempting to give him one final kick, he knows there's no point in acting out. So he shoves his hands in his pockets and follows the demon back.

"I am ready to start a war," she murmurs, a familiar cold flame behind her eyes, "But I do not believe you are ready to win one." And then she points to the crumpled form of the bait, the body of Oga's best friend, and says something that genuinely surprises him: "Take him along."

He stares.

"What're you gonna do with a corpse?"

Slowly, she lowers her hand and turns her head, fixing him in place with a particularly scathing look.

"I don't remember having promised to explain myself to scum," she whispers.

There's really nothing for him to say then, now is there? As much as he loves the smell of blood and the sight of death, he does not like to be in close contact with corpses. Perhaps it's the child in him; perhaps it's a natural instinct. Either way, this had never been a problem in his fights, up until now.

The silver-haired boy absolutely _reeks_ and the blood from the gaping hole in his chest quickly soaks through Takamiya's shirt. Still, he shoulders the dead body, waiting for Lucifer to create another one of her short distance interdimensional portals. She does, and the two of them step through it; step through the bloodsoaked Ishiyama halls and into Takamiya's home base: the underground cellar of the northern Shinto shrine.

With all honesty, he had expected Oga to rise up and mutter some promise of eventual victory. He is disappointed twice then, when the other boy simply remains unconscious.

He drops the body as soon as they've stepped foot inside. Except then Lucifer had turned and frowned and he had grudgingly picked it back up again, setting it down on the bed. Oh, would the sheets be stained (but of course, Lucifer does not care).

"Happy?" he demands, once the corpse is more comfortably settled in his home than he himself.

"Quite," she replies, floating up to rest on his shoulder. With a sickening sort of sweetness, she presses a deceptively small palm against one of the still-flowing cuts on his face. He winces; her touch is like fire, like poison, and she knows it. Lucifer smiles, but does not pull back. "My poor little spellmaster," she says, "You've been beat up quite badly, haven't you?"

He refuses to dignify that comment with a response.

"Certainly not in any condition to travel to the demon world anytime soon," she continues, letting go and floating down. With slow steps, she walks towards the corpse.

"How long are you going to play dead?" she questions tonelessly.

"You took out his _heart_," Takamiya mutters, skin prickling at the thought of a corpse resting in his home.

"Shut up." She doesn't even bother to look at him. Instead, she forces the rose to manifest (a new wave of pain brings him to his knees), placing it on the cadaver's chest. There's a tell-tale hum and, for once, it's not coming from Lucifer. The dead boy lurches forward with a jolt as the rose petals crawl across his figure, stopping to coil about his legs.

"I've waited long enough," Lucifer states, paying her suffering contractor no heed, "Asmodeus, greet your master."

The white noise intensifies and he's left on the floor, staring in slack-jawed disbelief as the boy - the boy he saw die before his eyes - opens his eyes (were they always green? The pain is making it difficult to concentrate.), lips curling into a cruel smile.

"Since when did I call you master," the boy asks.

"Stubborn as ever," Lucifer murmurs, attempting to take back the rose. It resists of course, clinging onto the teenage boy's ankles. She frowns and he laughs.

"Come now Lucifer, how long as it been? One century? Two?" a playful arm is swung about her narrow shoulders and her frown deepens. "Oh," and he notices Takamiya's prone form, "Looks like my waking up caused your contractor to faint, sorry about that."

"So you did pledge yourself to Solomon."

"Accidentally!" he releases her and stands up, shaking his hands and head. Six green claws extrude from his fingers and six twinkling horns grow from his head. The lower leg of the boy's pants rip; unable to contain the growing claws. "You'll never believe how he managed to trick me, the scum - "

"Served you raw catfish. All of hell has heard."

"It's wonderful," he muses, as if she had not spoken, "You have no idea how it is, being cooped up in such a little body for so long." He chuckles then, looking at her temporary form. "Well, maybe not no idea, but imagine, a quarter of an average human life." He flexes his fingers, looking curiously at the shredded wards, and disintegrates a couple. "Ah, truly wonderful." Then he claps his hands and finally turns to her: "Now, what do you want of me, Lucifer O Emperor of Hell?"

"Great Demon of the Second Circle Asmodeus, Spirit of the Sin of Lust - "

"It's not Great Demon anymore," Asmodeus interrupts. "My old man died, so you should call me 'lord' now."

"Lord of the Cockroaches?" Lucifer snorts. Her left cheek erupts in blood.

"Careful dear," the other demon cheerily warns, "You know I've always been difficult to wake."

"But Asmodeus," she replies, tightening her fist and forcibly recalling the whole rose, "My body is just a shell, whereas yours is not."

"What do you want of me?"

"I want you to fight under my flag once more. I want you to lead the second circle of hell in my name against our current fool of a king. I want you to help me seize my rightful place as the ruler of all seven realms of hell." Perpetually to the point; Lucifer has not changed.

"You've assembled troops?"

"Of course."

"And what of the other five?"

"Two have been sealed; the other three are the leaders of my troops." It doesn't take a genius to guess which uneven half is which. He nods in appraisal.

"Your palaces have been kept in pristine condition," she trails off then, taking note of his distinct hum of approval, before dropping the final piece: "And I have the sworn allegiance of the Solomon Company in this endeavor."

"Really!" Asmodeus grins, clapping once, "Pray tell, what sort of trap did you set?"

Lucifer cannot resist grinning then; _this_ is her old comrade; this is the demon whose power she's missed. "I've forced a contract between a Son of Solomon and the Spirit of the Sin of Wrath."

"_Satan_?" her fellow demon guffaws, "One can only imagine! You must've had a hell of time getting him into that human." He leers, leaning forward, "Tell me, how is his contractor like? Beautiful? Young? Spirited?"

"All those things. It makes them more pleasant to break." They turn to look at the still-unconscious Takamiya and share a laugh.

"As you've been so good to me," Asmodeus starts, taking her small hand in both of his, "Giving me enough energy to properly wake up _and_ keeping my favorite palace fresh - I must accept. My lust is yours to command, my darling," he murmurs, kissing the palm of her hand.

"Very good." She slips her hand out nonetheless. "Now, my contractor will need some rest before he can take me to Hell."

"This body is in desperate need of rest as well."

"It is."

He stares at her then, wordless accusations exchanged in the tick-tock of heated seconds, before shrugging carelessly and breaking off. "Then, for fear of exhausting this boy prematurely, I shall return to sleep. Wake me up once we're in hell, will you?" And without waiting for an affirmative, he draws into himself, retracting his talons and claws and horns to return to the guise of a teenage boy once more.

The body drops onto the bed, true heart beating firmly and truly _whole_ once more. Both boys are bleeding lightly; she pays neither of them any heed.

"Welcome back," she finally says, greeting belated as usual.

* * *

Her contractor is the first to wake. But then, of course he is: he's used to bouts of pain and he's used to being drained past the point of exhaustion.

Takamiya Shinobu opens his eyes and gets up, going through his morning motions despite it being late afternoon. He takes a shower and patches himself up; he cooks himself breakfast and goes outside to stretch and strain and train for two hours. When the sun has fully set, he returns to the underground chamber, jaw set in an expression she has become used to.

"I am of good temper today," she indolently says when he's changing into clean garments. "You may ask as you please." And, as they both know, she will answer as she pleases.

For a while, he says nothing, and she sits still with her hands perfectly folded, listening to the tell-tale swish, swish, swish of clothes on coat-hangers. Today is Monday, but it is too late for school (not that there's any point in returning; they've already beat those who won't join and they'll be leaving for hell soon enough) so there is no point in him wearing his uniform. He emerges from the closet wearing a running suit, but even casual clothes look formal on him with his perpetually sallow expression.

Through it all, she says nothing. He has not once bested her; today will not be any different.

He breaks soon enough, but of course he does: her beautiful young spirited contractor.

"He's different from me." It's not a question but a statement. It's a loss nonetheless.

She smiles, turning to look at the still-sleeping boy.

"Yes. Yes he is."

"How so?"

She chuckles. "Saotome is knowledgeable of course. But his knowledge is limited to him demon too. As you know, there are two types of permanent bonds we can join with humans: one is with a contractor, another is with a spellmaster. There is a third sort of bond that is entirely different: a host. That is the host body of Asmodeus, the Great Demon of the Second Circle of Hell, the Spirit of the Sin of Lust."

"How is a host entirely different?"

"For one, there is little concern for death: the demon will die along with the body." Takamiya's jaw clenches. "For another, the demon's powers are dormant; the host can be a temporary storage facility at best. Admittedly, there have been a lot of low-level demon hosts... in fact, you've even fought one or two at your school... but in the upper divisions, the tenacity of the human body is bit tenuous." She laughs in fond remembrance of various failed experiments. Oh, how they had tried to save Asmodeus.

"There are two side effects that are likely endemic to being the host of a Great Demon however. This boy here is capable of receiving and withstanding an admirable amount of demonic power. After all, outside of him, Asmodeus has no other body. Furthermore..." she pauses, looking at her contractor, "are you making a chart?"

Takamiya turns the notebook towards her.

In his typical impeccable script is a four by seven table, with the columns labeled Contractor, Spellmaster, and Host, and the rows labeled (1) Separate Bodies, (2) Complete Control of Self, (3) Use of Power, (4) Maximized Power, (5) Withstanding Energy, and (6) Withstanding Maximized Energy. "Host" has three checks: 2, 5, 6; "Contractor" has four checks: 1, 2, 3, 5; and "Spellmaster" has five checks: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6.

"A good effort," she nods, waving her hand. "Unfortunately, the second side effect is a slow but steady merge of both sides."

"Human and demon?"

"Yes."

Takamiya pens in another row.

"Why now?"

"A host body is not meant to be a permanent container, unlike the contractor. Once a demon - especially a Great Demon - awakens, his power will eventually overwhelm his host." Well, that was the theory at least. Asmodeus was the first of the seven of them to be sealed away and the last to awaken from his first sleep. He was still able to cut her (though this was temporary body), so she had high hopes for the preservation of his abilities.

"You respect him greatly," Takamiya says. Again, neither a question nor an accusation, and he makes it sound like both.

"It is not your place to judge," she replies and there are teeth in her smile. She gets up then, forcing open a dimensional rift with a sweep of her hand. Lucifer is not one for making promises, but Asmodeus has asked her about the state of his palaces and she is in no position to be caught in such a petty lie. A quick visit while their host bodies are resting up is enough she reasons, stepping into the rift.

"I shall be back shortly," she promises. "And in that time, if you step foot outside, I will kill you." It is their usual goodbye.

His eyes shift to Asmodeus' host.

Lucifer smiles a devil's smile.

"Do not be tempted," she whispers. "It has taken a long time to mold you, but it has taken even longer to wake him."

And with that, she disappears into the void.


	2. His Return

Asmodeus

* * *

II. His Return

* * *

The other boy regains consciousness the morning after Lucifer's departure. He sits up, free to talons, claws, or horns, and takes one look at his blood-crusted hands. The influx of demon energy quickly overwhelms his initial shock and terror however, and he nearly falls off the bed as the demonic energy cycles through him.

Hoarse screams of mercy are nothing new to Takamiya as he was often the one doing the screaming.

The smell, however, is another thing entirely. Furuichi's cuts are breaking anew and healing themselves in rapid succession; the desperate attempts of the human body to expel the excess energy.

There's a couple brief moments of silence, punctuated with understandably ragged gasps, before the air is cut with yet another unmistakably human cry of pain.

Despite her threats, Lucifer did not instruct him to keep the other boy alive. Perhaps this is another test of hers, though whether it's for him, or for Asmodeus, or for the host, he does not know.

Furuichi screams and screams and will not stop.

With an unusual amount of agitation, Takamiya walks over to the sink, filling a cup with water and grabbing a vegetable washbin. He goes over to the coughing boy, stopping the convulsive motions of his upper body by grabbing a fistful of hair. He forces him down from the bed and presses the glass into the boy's hands. And then he learns that, at the very least, Furuichi is not past the point of sense. His fingers wrap around the glass and he jerkily brings it to his lips.

"Rinse and spit," Takamiya instructs, maintaining his grip while pushing the washbin forward. The scene is terribly nostalgic; this was what Saotome had forced him into doing at their initial meeting. Demon power takes to water like oil, the older spellmaster had explained. But then, cleanliness had always come hand-in-hand with godliness. Furuichi does as instructed, managing two and half spit-and-swallows before choking on a wave of bile. The third spit is more vomit than water.

Takamiya wrinkles his nose, releases his hold, and takes a step back. He has always been sensitive to stench, a side effect of Lucifer, no doubt.

After an embarrassingly long period of hacking and coughing, the phlegm at least manages to lose its red tint and, shortly after that, Furuichi draws his energy into one final inhale, falling to the side of the washbasin, still on the bed.

Without comment, Takamiya picks up the washbasin and dumps its contents in the sink. From experience, the shadows through the basement's once-sealed window tell him that the sun is barely halfway across the sky. In the other times Lucifer has left him to go to hell, she has also instructed him not to leave the premises without her. He reasons the command is so he will not risk engaging in fights without the chance of her help, though it's more likely that she simply enjoys control.

Either way, he's used to it. He makes breakfast and goes through as much of his morning routine as he can in the confines of the basement. He takes a shower afterwards, relieved to change out of clothes that still manage to stink of blood and vomit, and busies himself at the small library. He is irritated, however, when the only stories his eyes seem to flit across are the ones he's read dozens of times - the ones with sickeningly happy endings.

He ends up picking a story where the children are eaten by their parents and halfway through the most lucid explanation of parenthood he's ever understood, he pauses, looking up. Although the boy is in no condition to run away, much less fight, Lucifer did say that hosts were capable of withstanding an enormous amount of demon energy. There's a swell of muted envy, a swell of _senseless_ muted envy. He sets the book aside and stands up, walking over and searching through the boy's pockets.

A telltale rustle reveals the rest of the infamous tissue packet.

It looks like a normal tissue packet. Takamiya double-checks and finds a second - identical - packet. So he is left with two equally normal tissue packets. Judging by the one-sided conversation from Furuichi, he already knows the advantages and limits of such a temporary contract. Still, he is curious. Lucifer would be displeased if he burnt both packets - you do _nothing_ without my explicit instruction, she's drilled into him since youth.

"Here goes nothing," he mutters, taking a tissue out. He rips it in half, rolls it up, and stuffs the two ends up his nose. And then he waits. And waits and waits and waits. At some point, he thinks he sees a flicker of black in the corner of his eye, but then, nothing. After half an hour, he pulls both wads out, taking a tissue from the second packet with more force than necessary. Rinse, repeat, and wait for yet another half an hour, only for absolutely nothing to happen.

He narrows his eyes, levelling the still-unconscious boy with a contemptuous stare. Was he lying along then? Did the tissues do nothing? It wouldn't make sense for Lucifer to have lied to him though, not in the heat of a battle.

Takamiya grits his teeth, yanking out the tissue halves and walking over. The third pocket reveals a third tissue packet. He stares and then frowns. Furuichi's pants and jacket have four pockets each. And evidently, the boy has placed a tissue packet in each pocket. Takamiya stares at the eight identical packets, each of them already opened and mostly used-up. And he curses.

Thankfully, he hits the jackpot on his sixth try. Unfortunately, he calls upon the general himself.

"Oh ho ho ho," the old man chuckles, stroking his mockery of a beard. "This isn't the young whippersnapper from last time."

So this is Behemoth, Takamiya thinks, and it takes every ounce of energy to remain standing. It's as if a roof had been placed over his shoulders, this feeling of _suffocation_. He's bleeding, bleeding from his eyes by the looks of it (of course, he realizes, his nostrils were plugged up after all), and his hands are trembling. There are three beings he has met that can instill within him a genuine sense of powerlessness. The first is Lucifer, the second is Saotome, and the third is Satan.

And now, now he has met the fourth.

Although it makes sense to forsake standing in favor of pulling out the tissues, he realizes that he cannot forsake his pride. The old man is muttering something in the background and he can't even hear it, what with that incessant humming that seems to accompany high-level demons.

"Ah, I see," the old man hums, leafing through Takamiya's memories. "So _you're_ the upstart who beat up my precious Pillars? And the spellmaster of Lucifer no less! And... what's this...?" He flips to the most recent page, and Takamiya feels the crushing wave of surprise. "Oh, oh, _oh_, why this - " he laughs heartily, and in that split second, Takamiya pulls out both tissues, severing the contract.

He collapses to the floor, all semblance of energy seeped away, and hastily forces himself back up, wiping at the moderate rivulets of blood.

Red, red, red; oh, this is nostalgia - this is his childhood.

With a sense of pleasure quickly overwhelmed by nausea, he shreds the other seven packets of tissue, washing his face and drinking five whole glasses of water. The throbbing pain in his head, however, simply will not subside. He stalks over to the bed then - to his bed - and rolls Furuichi off, grinning sickly when the other boy moans upon falling on the futon.

This is just the start, he knows. The war hasn't even begun.

* * *

Furuichi Takayuki wakes up the next day with his face pressed against a filthy futon in a room he does not recognize. His head hurts like something awful and the events of the previous day happily reveal themselves for his benefit. His unbound hands scrabble up his own chest, double-checking, triple-checking, quadruple-checking. Yes, his heart is still there. Yes, his heart is still beating. He is still alive.

He sits up, takes one look at Takamiya sitting in the corner of the room (reading a book, of all things), and quickly lies back down again. He closes his eyes and runs through a plethora of possibilities and while none of them are ideal, all of them point towards Takamiya having some use for him. He is still alive, after all.

His fellow freshman flips a couple more pages before closing the book and standing up. He walks over to Furuichi and towers over him.

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit, thanks for asking," Furuichi snaps back, forcing himself up. "Now did you have a reason for ordering your demon to pull my heart out or - "

"Pffhahahaha!" Takamiya sinks to his knees, interrupting the potential tirade with a hysterical laughs. He rocks on his haunches and laughs a little longer, brushing tears from his eyes before sitting down. "You have no idea what's going on, do you?"

"Of course not. I'm not like Oga." Well, it wasn't as if Oga knew what was going on, but he would likely survive it.

"So he really hasn't told you a thing?"

"No." Furuichi frowns, "Oh man, don't tell me this is another one of Beel's dad's tests..."

"No way." Takamiya laughs again. "We're going to overthrow that useless old man and you're going to help."

"Help? Hahahaha, now _that's_ rich!" Furuichi snorts, "Have you even gone to hell? It's - "

"...You've gone to hell?"

"Yeah." And then. "Have you?"

"Of course. I'm a spellmaster after all."

"I see."

"Did anything happen while you were there?"

Angelica is the first happenstance that comes to mind. Furuichi doubts Takamiya would ask about her though. He shrugs, deciding to give the least amount of information, "Not really. Beel followed the doctor back to her home and Oga and I were dragged along for the ride."

"You had a transdimensional demon with you? Ah, nevermind... of course the son of the demon lord would have a handful of useful retainers." All traces of humor vanish and Takamiya purses his lips. He leans back, following Furuichi's line of sight to the dripping faucet. "Take some water. Your body probably needs it." In all honesty, probably not, but it was always better safe than sorry.

This ragged boy his age who prefer books to battles and women to conquest... had he not seen the marks of a true demon, he would have never believed it.

How then, he wonders, did Lucifer manage to recognize him? Was it before or after she pulled his heart out? It had always been a habit of hers, apparently she had developed a taste for the sweetly beating organ, to the point where one of her nicknames was Lucifer the Hearteater, and he hadn't thought this instance to be any different.

Furuichi gets himself a glass of water, drinking it at the sink. Then he washes the glass and places it on the drying rack, going back to his place on the futon. He's forcing himself to keep calm, Takamiya notes, ears picking up the purposely deep breaths. Of course, the boy still thought himself an innocent bystander to the conflict. Furuichi, for his part, keeps quiet. There is a list of questions and an even longer list of scenarios, but the fact of the matter is: he is absolutely no good in a fight, even moreso now without the tissues. So he needs to stay alive, needs to get information, needs to try to gain more knowledge of the Solomon Company.

Takamiya stands up and goes back to his book, and the silence persists.

Furuichi cracks within an hour.

"Uh... you know that the demon tissues will work with anyone, right?"

"I just discovered."

"Great! So that means..." he finds himself short of eight packs of tissues and needs to stifle a laugh at the mental image of Takamiya running through the fake packs, "...so that means you summoned one?"

"Yes. The general."

"Holy shit," Furuichi winces, remembering that particular episode. It's impossible to keep the admiration from his tone as he continues, "So did you use him for anything?"

"No. I just wanted to see how it worked."

"I see." He does a quick scan for any lasting cuts or bruises. Of course, the other boy's now-loose bangs block most of his forehead, but he does not look any worse for the wear. "I guess you must be used to take kind of power, huh? Being a spellmaster and all."

"Indeed." Takamiya chooses to gloss over the fact that he had prematurely terminated the summoning and that he had needed a day to recuperate, turning his attention to the book once more.

"How is Himekawa doing?"

It's funny, he's almost getting used to being surprised.

"What's it to you?" he asks, flipping the page.

"He's one of us."

The simplicity of the answer burns.

"Not anymore."

"You place your bets and I'll place mine."

"I just beat your leader to the ground. And unlike you, he didn't survive my Lucifer's attack."

"Heh. If I can survive, then that mad dog can too."

For the second time, Takamiya neglects his book - going so far as to close it. He stands up and walks back over, sitting down across from Furuichi. "Tell me," he conversationally begins, lacing his fingers and easing into seiza, "Are both your parents alive?"

"...Yeah."

"And do you have any siblings?"

"...A little sister."

"Do you get along well?"

"Well... well enough." His clipped answers betray his unease. Takamiya chuckles; Asmodeus' host has a good sense for danger, at least. He forces himself to slow his motions down, just so he can see the flash of fear. It comes, and it is delicious, but not quite as satisfying as smashing the boy's face into the floor.

"People like you make me sick," he drawls, standing up and grinding heel against skull. "Given everything in the world... just drifting by through life..." he laughs, dipping low and whispering softly: "I can't wait to see you kill your friends."

"_Shinobu_."

He freezes like a child caught in a misdeed as the wall behind the bed - behind Furuichi - opens up and reveals his bound demon. She is wearing a new dress and the rose has changed color yet again. Lucifer stares at him and Furuichi turns toward the source of energy, mind racing at the implications. Slowly, slowly, Takamiya removes his foot, biting back a completely warranted pout. He steps back and raises both hands, maintaining his poker face. Finally, Lucifer redirects her attention, stepping down from the bed and taking Furuichi's face in her hands.

She stares into his eyes for an inordinate amount of time - long enough for him to flush quite deeply at least. Still, he remains quiet.

Lucifer laughs, patting his cheek.

"Solomon and his tastes," she murmurs, releasing him and floating up to rest on Takamiya's shoulder. "Host," she addresses, "I trust Shinobu has explained the situation. We will leave for Hell tomorrow morning."

_Hardly_, Furuichi screams. Internally.

* * *

As Lucifer said, the three of them depart for hell the next morning. Lucifer goes first, opening a transdimensional rift to hell. Then she brings out a legitimate transdimensional demon... one that Furuichi immediately recognizes.

"H-Hilda?!" he gawks.

The dagger is pressed against his throat before he even has the chance to apologize. Thankfully, Lucifer has reacted too, floating up and casually backhanding the demon maid.

"Forgive the human Yolda," she listlessly commands, "He is but a host body. You, who come from one of the foremost houses of hell, why lower yourself to squabbling with insects?" And Furuichi stares, unable to believe his eyes as Yolda babbles some sort of apology (not for him of course, _he's_ just a host body) and sheathes her dagger. She hazards a glance at Furuichi's direction however, and he smiles weakly, attempting to convey remorse.

"Have you seen him?" the wet nurse asks of Lucifer as she closes her eyes and extends her hands.

"Of course." At once, Lucifer's rift is closed and a new portal opens in its place - blossoming within it, almost.

"You've met Yolda before," Takamiya remarks.

"Yeah." Thinking back, the other students from Ishiyama hadn't been transferred to St. Ishiyama, so there was little chance of making contact with Demon Prince En and Behemoth's 34th Pillar Squad. Still, there remainded the question: why would someone so fervently loyal to the demon king's son side with Lucifer? Takamiya continued staring at the dimensional rift however. Belatedly, Furuichi realizes that this is his second time journeying into the demon world.

"Don't look at me with such an insufferable expression," the other boy murmurs, shouldering a previously-prepared bag and taking the first step into the portal. "I've been to Hell and back a dozen times."

"I see..." Furuichi says, laughing nervously. Lucifer does not bother to correct her spellmaster's fallacy and Takamiya leaps through the portal.

There's a steep drop up ahead. Furuichi remembers his first voyage to the demon world - along with Oga and Beel and Lamia. Oh, and Alaindelon too, though he hadn't been much help up until the end. _They're doing fine,_ he reassures himself as he takes the first step.

"Yolda," he hears and instinctively turns around, "Stay awhile to make sure no one interferes."

"Yes, Emperor," she replies, and Furuichi can just about hear the subservient bow in her tone.

And then Lucifer pushes him through completely.

"AAAHHHH!"

In a spurt of déjà-vu reminiscent of his initial journey, Furuichi finds himself falling in quasi-darkness for an indefinite amount of time. He lands with a crash and a moan atop of some impossibly soft material, eyes squeezed shut for dear life.

"Lord Asmodeus!" a perfectly lyrical voice calls, pouncing on him and forcing him back against the... the bed, evidently.

"Uh... ah... what?" Furuichi asks, staring at the scantily-dressed long-haired blonde enthusiastically straddling his midsection.

"Y-You don't remember me?" she asks, getting terribly close. Her eyes water; his mind races.

"Uh... uh... uh...!"

"But Tiriel has been so good! So kind, so sweet, so _patient_!" her eyelids flutter (his heart skips multiple beats - for the love of god, this woman could give _Hilda_ a run for her money) and her fingers ghost his cheek.

"Tiriel, don't bother with that thing," Lucifer interrupts, seeming to descend from the ceiling. She floats over to sit on Takamiya's shoulder (Furuichi blanches, figures the other freshman would leave him to fend for himself), raising her arm and wordlessly calling forth another rose. Takamiya's fingers twitch; Furuichi makes another mental note. "This is not your master. This is just his host."

"Oh?" the woman named Tiriel wonders, rolling off Furuichi (to his eternal relief and shame).

"Asmodeus," Lucifer intones, scattering rose petals once more, "O Demon Lord of the Second Circle, Spirit of the Sin of Lust..."

Her incantation is interrupted by Furuichi's scream. It's one of surprise, not pain, however, as he watches the rose petals wrap about his arms and legs, seeing more than feeling talons grow from his feet and claws from his hands. Well, that certainly explained the ripped edges of his pants (he'd been too terrified previously to ask the reason). But more than the introduction of new weapons is the introduction of a new presence. A foreign swell of demonic energy... one that he can't quite pin down.

"Oh master..." Tiriel is outrightedly crying now.

A quick glance reveals that even Takamiya is having problems standing. _Oh good_, Furuichi think in a near-delirious haze, _So it's not just me._

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" he says. Or rather, his mouth moves and a voice that is absolutely _not_ his comes forth. He stares in stupefied horror as his body moves without his permission - without his _knowledge_. It is one thing to allow a hot demon chick to possess your arms and legs, it is another matter entirely to lose sensation everywhere.

Furuichi panics and his body chuckles. Chuckles as Tiriel throws herself onto him, sobbing and sobbing and acting very much as Furuichi would like to act at the moment.

"Welcome back," Lucifer repeats.

"Has it really been centuries?" Furuichi hears himself ask. "_My_, how the time flies! Oh Tiriel, my sweet. I remember you - what a lovely little girl you used to be! Ah, you've aged well." He takes her hand and presses his lips against her knuckles.

"Oh master, oh master, oh master..." she chants, desperately scrabbling against his face, pressing kiss after kiss. Takamiya averts his eyes; Furuichi wishes he could.

"I did not detect any suspicious behavior," Yolda reports, fluttering back down as well. She gives Furuichi a once-over and smiles sweetly. "Lord Asmodeus, it's good to see you with your horns back."

"And if you were any closer, I'd show you how much I'd entertained myself with delusions of your pretty face," Asmodeus cheekily replies, blowing a shameless kiss.

Yolda doesn't even bat an eye.

"Lucifer," Asmodeus continues, motioning to the door. "Guests outside?"

"All for you," she replies, leading both Yolda and Takamiya away. Furuichi's face breaks into a filthy grin. "I assume you won't be needing a meal tonight?"

"Not at all, darling," the demon of lust drawls, raising his chin to allow Tiriel access to his neck. She eagerly sucks and bites and Furuichi feels a tell-tale tremble and, in the heat of the moment, he is almost too distracted to notice the door.

Almost.

Because then - from the hallway and through the open door - there comes a literal _flood_ of demon women, each more beautiful than the next.

"Lord Asmodeus!"

"Master!"

"You've returned!"

"My Lord!"

And so on and so forth. They worship every inch of his body, kissing and licking and suckling and smelling. One of them grabs his left hand, forcing it around her bare breast, and another two lick their way through his left hand, meeting each other at the middle finger.

_Holy shit,_ Furuichi thinks, boy and demon both cackling hysterically, _I've died and gone to heaven._


	3. His Extravagance

Asmodeus

* * *

III. His Extravagance

* * *

He falls into a dream, pleasantly floating in a sea of beautiful women dressed in all the colors of the rainbow. They grab for him, his arms, his legs, his chest, his dick, and they kiss every inch of skin they can touch. They flatter him, they worship him, they love him.

He tries to make small talk at some point - while another woman is wildly riding him, no doubt - and finds they are all delightfully conversational to boot, capable of carrying on a dialogue on general philosophy while worshipping his cock with their tongues.

_If this is a dream, don't ever wake me up,_ he thinks.

"Furuichi. Wake up."

"Hm. No response. Alright, how about... Furuichi-sama!"

"No good either. Takayuki?"

"Okay, Takachin... get... up...!"

"Onii-chan, get out of bed!"

"...I didn't want to do this, but... Furuchinchin wake the fuck up!"

— Don't call me Furuchin!, Furuichi shouts, popping back into the land of the conscious. He blinks (or rather, the person occupying his body allows him to blink) and looks around. He is swathed in luxuriously soft sheets but otherwise alone and naked in a four-poster bed. Ah, this was the same bed he fell into while journeying... while journeying to Hell the second time.

"So _that's_ what'll wake you up, huh?" the demon asks, taking back control of the body.

— Okay, okay, okay. Not that I didn't enjoy any of that... well... all of those beautiful women...

"Your exacts words were 'if this is a dream' - "

— _I know._, He takes a moment to rearrange his thoughts, starting anew with: — So are you going to explain anything to me?

"Sure." Furuichi sees his shoulders shrug. "What do you want to know?"

— Who are you, for starters.

"My name is Asmodeus, I am one of the seven demonic incarnations of sin. I rule the second circle of hell and I am the Spirit of the Sin of Lust."

— Is that your excuse for having those... those...

"What? Orgies?"

— YEAH.

"When I had my real body, that would be an ordinary night."

— Ordinary night... hah.

A pause, and then:

— So why me?

"I have no idea. I've been sleeping since before you were born, waking up intermittently to change bodies. This is the first time I've moved on my own since Solomon sealed me."

— Solomon? As in the Solomon Company?

"Yes."

— So... they're actually the good guys?

"Lucifer has forced a contract between the heir of Solomon and Satan."

— Fuji, then.

"I didn't bother asking for his name. Anyways, Lucifer told me she's successfully forced their hand, so they won't be playing the role of good guys so long as their leader is a spellmaster."

— I see. So... how long do you plan on borrowing my body?

"Until - "

— Wait. This isn't going to be a set of entirely impossible conditions, right?

"No, but - "

— And you're not going to tell me that if these conditions aren't met, you'll eventually kick me out, right?

"Well, in a manner of speaking..."

As he does not have any control over his limbs, there is very little Furuichi can do to demonstrate his frustration. So he internally grinds his teeth and internally grits his fists.

— That's not going to happen.

"You might be right," Asmodeus admits, shrugging again, "After all, this is a special case. Whatever happens with you will be a precedent. But..." his lips (well, not really _his_ but...) curl into a smile that Furuichi cannot see, "I think it's very likely that a demon of my standing would overwhelm your normal human spirit, no?"

— That's not going to happen., Furuichi repeats.

"What makes you - " Asmodeus starts, only to be hit with a blinding light. This time, the demon is the one to be screaming internally as Furuichi emerges from his own conscience, smugly victorious.

"I told you," he says, sitting up and grinning as the horns, claws, and talons retract into his body (pity they won't stay; the sheer amount of chicks he would've been able to get with them...), "That's not gonna happen."

— Human. Give me back control.

"Or what? You'll - " he accidentally bites his quickly-swelling tongue and chokes on his own blood in the interim.

_Giving it back to you, giving it back to you..._ Furuichi quickly relents. The extra appendages grow back in as Asmodeus takes over once more. He coughs up the excess blood and lies back down, waiting for his power to naturally recover the various other wounds.

— What the fuck was that?!

"A short burst of energy. My energy, of course. You're lucky you tried that inside, where the pressure from hell is limited; if you had taken control outside, you'd be a splatter of organs on the ground in less than a second."

Furuichi winces.

— But I've been in hell before.

"Not with an awakened demon you haven't."

— What about Oga then? Or Takamiya?

"And that's one of the difference between contractors and hosts."

— So there are other differences?

"Of course. The most readily apparent being that your body is capable of containing more demonic energy than any spellmaster."

— Too bad I don't get to use my body, huh?

"Mm." A pause, and then: "Let me ask you a question. What _did_ you just do?"

— ...Choked on my own blood?

"With regards to regaining control, I mean."

— I don't know. Same thing when Agiel and Hecatos borrowed my body I guess. Well, they had permission, but it was the same thing.

"Don't put me on the same level as them."

— Hey, you're the one who asked.

"From what I've seen, humans are easy to overwhelm."

— ...I'm guessing you've never actually overwhelmed a human before?

"...Shut up."

— So when are you going back up? I'll take my body back then.

"You're not even bothering with a plan?"

— Nah, there's no point. You can read my mind anyways, can't you? Again, Hecatos told me.

"Boy, don't compare temporary and permanent possession."

— Why not? I've had similar experiences at least.

This time, it's Asmodeus who grinds his teeth. Externally.

"With regards to returning to your world... either when a suitable body is procured - and by that I mean created - or when I give birth to a son."

— Wait, what? Y-you're a girl?!

"Hardly."

— But you can still...

"Alright, when a demon woman gives birth to my son, happy?"

There's a brief pause, during which Asmodeus dips a pair of fingers into his mouth. They come out with flecks of dried blood but otherwise clean. So he leans back and sighs, waiting for the human to come to terms with the influx of information.

— So you don't have a body at the moment?

"I wouldn't stay in a human body for any other reason." Asmodeus rolls his eyes and jerks his arm, clutching one of the bedposts. He squeezes and brings the hand back. It's covered in blood. "Especially not a body so ill-suited to battle. I mean, would it have killed you to train with your schoolmates once in a while? In my old body, I could've cut that diamond in half with the nail of my pinky."

— So what happened to your old body?

"Solomon fed it to a Bahamut."

— ...I see.

"Mm."

— And there's no chance of recovering it?

"I've asked around. Apparently it'd be faster to create a new one than look for all the pieces of the old one."

— Wait a second. When did you have the time to -

"Sometime after you passed out from sexual inexperience."

— That was my first through seventh -

"Actually, seventeenth." Furuichi stares. "Your passing out hardly influences me," Asmodeus snorts. "If anything, it was made better - not having an inane laugh track running in the background."

_And this is coming from the demon who had his body eaten._

"I can still read your mind."

— Alright, so if you still have my (nonexistent) muscles and (poor) reflexes... where do the horns come from?

"They are marks of my rank. Physical manifestations of undiluted demon energy."

— Oookay. And, uh, how about... you know...

"You are capable of impregnating one of your kind. Although I am disappointed that you're not an especially virile specimen."

— I was actually asking: how is it possible for you to have a child through this body?

"I am the Spirit of the Sin of Lust."

— ...That explains nothing.

"My energy can seep out through your semen." Furuichi winces. Well _there_ was a mental image he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon.

— So is _that_ why you go through so many women? Because you're hoping to get a son? Oh wait, but you said that was a normal night even when you had your real body. So... it's just because you like...

"I am the Spirit of the Sin of Lust," Asmodeus repeats in an even flatter voice.

— Really now? Because I almost mistook you for the Spirit of the Sin of Explanation!

Asmodeus actually chuckles there.

_That was a pretty good comeback, wasn't it?_

"I can still hear you."

— Yeah, yeah.

"Demons are different from humans. By nature of living such long lives, the need for reproduction is almost nonexistent. Unfortunately, this means that the overwhelming majority of demons - even those from royal families - are only capable of reproducing once. However, I, being the incarnation of Lust, am not held to such restrictions. Whereas the other six incarnations are limited to a handful of children - two in the case of Beelzebub - I have an endless ability to enable reproduction."

_So he's like one of those ancient fertility goddesses..._ The infamous image of the hundred-breasted Anatolian goddess comes to mind. He snickers.

"Hardly."

— So all those women are coming to you to get children?

"Yes."

— And where the normal demon male can only... uh, well... impregnate once and the normal demon female can only give birth once, you can theoretically... you know...

"It doesn't work like that. Unless there is a female equivalent of myself, two children is the limit for normal demon women."

— I see.

Furuichi calculates: _Seventeen women on a average night means 119 women per week... 510 women per month... 6,205 women per year..._

— How many children do you have?!

"Oh, most of them have died by now. Living for a couple millennia will do that to most demons. But as for their descendents... well..." Asmodeus pauses then, doing a couple calculations of his own. "Do you remember the girl named Tiriel?"

— Like I'd forget someone that hot.

"Well, apparently she's apparently one of my great-great... well, five or six great's... granddaughter."

— _WHAT._

"Hey, you said it yourself: six thousand women every year. Most of the current hell is filled with my descendents. In fact, I'll be having a meeting with one of the few people I'm _not_ related to in a couple moments."

There's a knock on the door.

"Oh, on time as usual!"

* * *

"Father-in-law!" Behemoth greets.

Furuichi is thankful he does not have control of his body at the moment because he's certain he would die of a heart attack before Asmodeus' power managed to surge through. So instead he chokes internally on disbelief.

— _WHAT._

— Hey, I told you I'm not related to him! Not by blood, at least.

— Oh, so you _can_ communicate with me without speaking.

— Of course. But I dislike entering the human psyche. Yours in particular is a filthy place.

"Son-in-law!" Asmodeus greets in turn, grinning widely. "Can you believe it's been two millennia? Oh how quickly the years fly when you're stuck in the body of one insect after another! I'm sorry to hear of my daughter's passing. I hope the years have treated you well nonetheless... is something the matter?"

"Well..." the old man clears his throat and pointedly trains his gaze up, "You're naked."

— Just kill me now.

"So it appears I am!" Asmodeus laughs heartily, sitting himself down nonetheless.

— No. No, no, no. What are you doing you stupid demon lord?! Wear some clothes now!

"Well, it should come as no surprise," he continues, pointedly ignoring Furuichi, "That while these aren't the loins that gave birth to your daughter, this is my current body." He snaps his fingers and a maid comes scurrying. "Drinks and snacks, if you will?"

"Of course, my lord!"

"Of course, of course," Behemoth laughs, seating himself down too. Still, his gaze never strays lower than the collarbone. "And to think you were sealed in the body of such an ordinary boy! Why, when he accidentally summoned me that time, I _thought_ I had felt some familiar power source."

The two of them both share a laugh over Furuichi's trials.

"And how is my grandson?" Asmodeus asks, "The last time I saw him, he was still growing teeth!"

— For fucks' sake, you're not talking about..., Furuichi shrieks, having already connected the dots.

"He's become a splendid warrior actually. A bit spirited at times, as all young men are, but well worth the effort."

_Well, that's one way to describe a guy who takes 'gentle beating' to mean 'thrash them to death',_ Furuichi snarks.

"Good, very good! And what about yourself?"

"Oh I've been doing well," Behemoth shrugs, "Ever since the seven of you were split up, there hasn't been much for the army to do. That being said... the Demon Lord has taken another wife in the time you've been absent."

"I know," Asmodeus replies, lacing his fingers and smiling. Three maids enter the room with a trolley overflowing with refreshments (all equally grosteque, though some are more alive than others) and properly set them up around the coffee table. "He took the effort of painting a lovely picture of her, in fact."

"Yes. Now unfortunately the Solomon Company made off with that too, but..."

"This boy here and his friend - the child's contractor, I mean - managed to retrieve it."

"Really now?" Behemoth selects a red-and-black bean-like object with three heads that _scream_. He bites it in half, chewing heartily. Asmodeus, in turn, picks something resembling a pickled cabbage covered in blue fuzz. He bites into it and it too screams.

The two demons maintain a well-mannered staring contest, smiles filled with teeth.

"I did find it a little odd," Asmodeus confesses, plucking a different sweet next, "That the Great Demon Lord would choose to marry my mother. But she did bear him a child of her own free will."

There is a long gap of silence filled with Furuichi's internal scream.

"I see," Behemoth says. "So will you support your half-brother in favor of your grandson?"

A beat of silence.

— Who is he -, starts Furuichi.

And then -

"Pffhahahaha!" Asmodeus leans back, slapping the table with mirth. "You ask me, Lord of the Second Circle of Hell, the very incarnation of the Sin of Lust, to choose between a toddler and an infant?"

Behemoth pales.

"Father-in-law," the inconceivably powerful general _babbles_, "You must know, in no way did I - "

"The answer's obvious isn't it? I've already pledged my loyalty to Lucifer; she's the one who woke me up after all."

"...I see," Behemoth quietly notes, the color slowly returning to his face.

"Give my regards to the two boys then," Asmodeus says, shamelessly standing up. "And try not to spoil your nephew too much."

He walks back to the bedroom and falls onto the bed, sighing deeply.

Furuichi, on the other hand, explodes.

— What was that about?! Fucking hell, you told me that you had a lot of children, but to have both Jabberwock AND En as your grandsons?! And Baby Be'el is your half-brother?! And you're still fucking women left and right while pledging your loyalty to the leader of the group that Behemoth was supposed to -

"Don't lump me together with my son-in-law either," Asmodeus sneers. "Although he is considerably stronger than the riff-raff you're accidentally contracted with, understand this: compared to us seven demon lords... well, an insect is an insect, be it a beetle or ant."

— You're exaggerating.

"Let me put it this way: Lucifer can beat Beelzebub anyday. She only needs other people for the sake of propaganda, or, in my case, impeccable company."

— Shameless., Furuichi snorts. With that level of confidence though, he can't help being impressed.

"On that note, if there _is_ another all-out war in Hell, you can kiss your chances of returning good-bye."

— What? Why? I thought humans weren't involved.

"Well, the last time Lucifer tried to take the throne - I wasn't there, mind you, but I did see the effects through the eyes of one of my hosts - your world was caught in the middle. For all her being an incarnation of pride, she's pretty damn wrathful too."

— Wait. Wait, wait, wait. What, exactly, did she do?

"Have you ever wondered why your world's covered with so much water? Or has any oceans at all?"

— You're joking.

"Nah. Her previous attempt is the reason why."

Furuichi stares. And, in the absence of any available reactions, races through his mind screaming 'NO FUCKING WAAAYYY' at the top of his lungs. Asmodeus chuckles, paying the harmless little human boy no mind. Furuichi scrabbles for possibilities and - upon finding none - forces himself to calm down and _think_. He had never worried about the world being destroyed because Oga had had such an influence over Be'el, but with Lucifer... and all those wildly powerful demons thrown into the mix...

— What about Takamiya?, he blurts.

"...Who?"

— Takamiya. Takamiya Shinobu, the Emperor. You know, Lucifer's spellmaster?

"What about him?"

— Why does she need him here at all? If she's brought him, then it means that she's planning on returning to the human world, right?

"Not necessarily. It's more likely that she took him along so he wouldn't be able to summon her away from the war. She'll probably kill him after she's won... that's what she did with her previous spellmaster. At least, that's what I heard."

— Fuck.

"Don't despair!" Asmodeus laughs, clapping his hands. And from the hallways, a group of five different beauties appear. "Ladies," he says, voice low and lashes thick, "The night is still young, isn't it?" He smiles, and apparently, that's all it takes, as they squeal and shriek and descend upon him.

Furuichi is supremely aware of five pairs of bouncing breasts, of a hot tongue in his ear, of a tight pussy contracting around his cock, of well-toned slim thighs wrapping themselves around his waist.

_Fuck this_, he determines, _I'm not going to fight in your stupid war._


	4. HIs Tryst

Asmodeus

* * *

IV. His Tryst

* * *

"Well isn't someone looking fancy this morning?" Agiel teases, stepping out of the hallway. Asmodeus waits for the maids to finish fastening the earrings before turning to greet her.

"But of course," he grins, giving her an extended once-over. Possibly twice. "I don't look half as good as what I see though." She laughs, crossing the distance in five paces and ghosting her fingers across his still-bared chest.

Her breath is hot against his lips: "Call me before the fight starts," she whispers, "And I'll let you fuck me on the battlefield."

"Agiel, Agiel, Agiel," he sighs, closing the distance for an instant, "You know I could never deny a pretty girl!"

— She's another one of your granddaughters, isn't she., Furuichi snipes.

"What's a generation, or two or three?" Asmodeus shrugs, giving a little wave as the scantily-dressed pillar departs. "Oh. Are you mad at having passed out again?"

— No, I'm mad that someone is possessing my body.

"For night-long orgies that, must I remind you, you're welcome to participate in?"

— Yeah. Right.

"It's not my fault the human body is so poorly made. Why, you're doing quite well, all things considered! At least you're not _too_ short for my old clothes."

— I heard that. And... hey...

His train of thought is momentarily interrupted by Asmodeus turning towards the full-length mirror, giving the boy a chance to look at a sample of the demon's wardrobe.

"Struck speechless, are we?" the demon asks, oozing smugness, "I understand that my sophistication is centuries above yours, but it warms the cockles of my heart to see - "

— A gold-plated loincloth?!, Furuichi cackles.  
— Just how old are you?!

"Shut up. I wouldn't expect insects to understand the height of demon fashion."

— You look like a hieroglyph! You're making _me_ look like a hieroglyph!

"Shut up." Asmodeus does a little twirl (the oversized earrings jingle and Furuichi winces), "I'm in control, so I get to decide what I'm wearing."

— Or what you're not wearing.

"Please. If this weren't such a shameful body, I wouldn't need the loincloth."

— Thanks. I really needed to see that.

"I wasn't being facetious though," Asmodeus remarks, turning from the mirror. He grabs an opaque flute filled with opaque fluid (Furuichi gags) before walking out the room. "You _are_ taking this turn of events rather well, all things considered."

— With a friend like Oga? You get used to shit like this. And speaking of shit... what are you drinking? Stop that! That can't possibly be for human consumption!

"Shut up," Asmodeus repeats, taking another, slower, sip. "And on the subject of that human... my son-in-law tells me that he's heard absolutely nothing from my half-brother during this interim."

— ...Could you stop with those placeholders? It's bad enough having sex with girls who call you grandpa!

"As if you don't love every minute of it."

— In your dreams.

Asmodeus chuckles.

"Isn't it obvious? I don't need sleep."

— And besides, (Furuichi continues, storing away that piece of information to agonize over sometime later.) why would Be'el get involved? This is a fight between Lucifer and his dad.

"Hm. You may be right. Though... my son-in-law seems quite adamant about getting _his_ nephew involved."

He pauses halfway down the hallway, turning to look at a closed door. "Oh?" he grins delightfully, turning the doorknob and peering inside, "And what do we have here?"

Before him, Takamiya is sprawled on the floor, eyes fluttering open from willpower alone. He manages to get himself into a crouch before Asmodeus moves across the room, pressing the heel of his bare foot on the spellmaster's hand.

— Hey. Wait.

The demon kneels down and smiles. He offers the flute to Takamiya.

"I remember your kindness," he says. "But there's no water in hell."

With effort, Takamiya takes a sip. He chokes before swallowing though, and Asmodeus throws his head back laughing.

— What are you -

"Ha ha ha! That joke never gets old! You should've seen Solomon's face when I offered him my blood!" And then he overturns the rest of the drink over Takamiya's head.

"How does it feel?" he softly asks, tossing the glass aside (it shatters) and applying more pressure. His talons dig into the boy's skin. "You know why you were brought here, right?"

"Of course," Takamiya grunts, maintaining his poker face despite the devil's blood. A trickle of the drink reaches the floor however, and Asmodeus' smile widens.

"Is it painful?" he rhetorically asks, willing the talons to dig a little deeper.

It's the little pleasures in existence like the sweet smell of breaking flesh.

Takamiya doesn't even wince.

— What are you doing?, Furuichi demands, right as Takamiya grinds out:

"Not at all." He gives a mad little grin of his own, "I told you, it's not my first time in hell. And my Lucifer has already told me: you're small fry compared to her."

In response, Asmodeus stands up, gets off, steps back, and kicks Takamiya in the face.

— What the fuck are you doing?!

Once, twice, thrice. Two teeth come out in the process and through it all, Takamiya just laughs. He spits them both out and doesn't even bother cursing the demon.

— What the fuck?!

"Then you know what she does to spellmasters who've outlived their use. Know this human," he purrs, grabbing the bedsheet and wiping the blood from his foot, "I'll take special pleasure in watching you die."

"Same goes for you," Takamiya sneers. He manages to look triumphant even with a black eye. "When you're sealed again, I'll make sure to kill you."

— What was that for?!, Furuichi screams as Asmodeus exits the room laughing.

"Oh I forget," the demon lies, "You're not one for violence."

— That's beside the point! There was no reason you needed to antagonize him! Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck... once I go back, he'll definitely kill me!

"Hah! Scared of a spellmaster? Just be glad you're my host!"

— Seriously, why the hell did you feel that was necessary?!

"Isn't it obvious?" Asmodeus asks, pausing to frown at the couple flecks of blood splattered on his lower left talons, "He was going to torture you. I can't have that happening without retaliation now can I?"

— Bullshit!, Furuichi shrieks, and Asmodeus can feel the boy's mind racing.

He is amused, albeit coldly, when the boy manages to connect the dots.

— Ffff!

"I wouldn't try anything with those baseless assumptions."

— Hyuk hyuk hyuk!, the boy _crows_.  
— And you have the nerve to call us insects?

"It is what you are."

— I've told you already, I'm not going to fight in your stupid war.

"Please. I'll see to it that you have no chance of intervening." And then he struts out the door of the palace and hops onto the parked Titanic Bahamut (and even _that_ fails to stop Furuichi from laughing gleefully), bucking the reins with an excessive amount of force.

— This is checkmate., the boy sniggers.

"Shut up," Asmodeus repeats as the beast lurches into the sky.

* * *

It's easier said than done, Furuichi discovers, as Asmodeus stays true to his word. The rest of the day is packed with meeting after meeting after meeting, and the night is filled with debauchery. Genuine exhaustion is beginning to set in on his body, he realizes, as the soft hand stroking his cheek feels more comforting than sexual. He falls asleep shortly afterwards, and wakes up the next day in the middle of yet another meeting. And so, the next three days fly by like that, with only one incident breaking the routine.

Jabberwock gives his greeting on the second day, cruising down to meet Asmodeus on his own Bahamut.

"Yo Gramps," he casually greets, tossing over a ball of concentrated miasma.

Asmodeus sidesteps and the shot misses by hair's width.

— Could you legitimately dodge for once?! I'm going to die of terror at this rate!

"And wouldn't that be a delight..."

— Hey!

"Besides," Asmodeus continues, grinning cheerily as Jabberwock advances. And then he raises his voice just to be an asshole: "Adults have better things to do than play with children."

"That's pretty big talk coming from someone with the body of a shrimp," Jabberwock barks, lunging forward with an uppercut. His maternal grandfather dodges again. "Stand still," the general of the army growls, trying again. Asmodeus dodges again. And again and again and again.

— I thought you said you would be limited by my reflexes?, Furuichi asks.  
— Not that I'm complaining about being able to whoop Jabberwock's ass with no effort at all.

"Yeah, well, that's acclimation for you," Asmodeus shrugs, tilting left and then right. "Watch out boy, pretty soon I'll take over. This body's not that bad. Especially now that it's able to withstand so much more of my - whoops!"

"Don't underestimate me old man!"

Furuichi laughs; how was it that, with Asmodeus in-control, even Jabberwock looked like a mob character?

"Alright, that's enough for one day," Asmodeus says, stopping the punch with a single finger. There's a bang around the same volume range as a sonic boom, and even Jabberwock is shocked speechless for a moment. And a moment is all Asmodeus evidently needs, as he laughs and reaches forward, lightly flicking his grandson's nose. "I hope you pay your father more respect than me!" the demon has the nerve to say.

And then he hops on his Titanic Bahamut (large enough to make Jabberwock's look like a malnourished lizard) and flies back to his palace for another orgy-filled night.

— Could you... well, stop narrating your adventures with that sickening kind of flair?

"Why not?"

— Because it makes it confusing who the main character is!

"Oh, so you're saying it gives you too much attention?"

— No, I'm saying that it doesn't give me _enough_ attention!

"Like I care," Asmodeus snorts.

— So you said you're weaker than Lucifer, right?, Furuichi asks, eager to the change the topic.

"Of course. Lucifer is the incarnation of _Pride_. Plus, she's still in her first iteration."

— So what does that mean?

"She's probably older than humanity. Probably."

— ...Wow.

"Appearances can be deceiving," Asmodeus laughs.

— But you're way stronger than Behemoth and Jabberwock.

"Of course. I told you already, it's an insult to have my power compared to those insects."

— So are you the weakest of the seven really strong demons?

"Please. Who do you think I am?"

— ...I'll take that as a yes.

"Whatever."

_Huh. And this is coming from the first to be sealed away._

"I can hear all your thoughts you know."

— Yeah. Why do you think I didn't bother messing up any of those meetings?

"What good will it do anyways?" Asmodeus boorishly asks, jerking the reins as the Bahamat nears the palace, "I can read your thoughts perfectly and I know you know that you don't know a single demon more powerful than me who's willing to help you _and_ your world is going to be destroyed in a couple days. In fact - you were sleeping during this meeting, of course - Lucifer is calling for arms tonight. Looks like the fight'll be starting soon."

— So?, Furuichi scoffs.  
— I already told you: it's checkmate for me.

Asmodeus rifles through the boy's thoughts and discovers the statement is a bluff. Figures.

"You keep telling yourself that boy," he says, hopping off the Bahamut.

* * *

— _Wow_, (Furuichi drawls, adding a slow clap) a dinner that _wasn't_ followed by an orgy? What's next, paperwork?

"I'll have you know there's an immense amount of paperwork necessary to running hell smoothly. Actually..." He thinks about this for a while. "You know, that might be one of the reasons why Lucifer wants to take the throne. If it's her, I can see things becoming more efficient."

— ...Demons really don't do petitions, do they.

"Nope. Blood and guts all the way or nothing. How do you think Beelzebub got the throne? Through shaking hands and kissing ass?"

— I wouldn't know. I've never even seen the guy's face.

"Oh? Oh... _oh_."

— Hey, it's your fault for reading my mind.

"No use trying to change the subject," Asmodeus dismisses. "Tomorrow, Lucifer will take rip Beelzebub's body to shreds and seal the rest of his power away. What're you planning on doing, now that your world's going to be destroyed again?"

— Take control of my body and try to save Be'el's dad, obviously.

"Now that's rich!" the demon laughs, "I've released even more of my power over these past couple days. Your body wouldn't last a second."

— Neither will you.

"I've always thought you were too reckless to meet Solomon's requirements as a host."

— Because I'm thrilled at being possessed by a demon.

"Like you could fuck any of these..." Asmodeus stops abruptly at the door.

"What's the matter?" a voice calls. "Come in."

And, for the first time, Furuichi feels something from the demon's 'side': fear.

And he gloats. Oh, does he gloat.

— Checkmate! Ha-hah! Checkmate, you sin of spirit of incarnation of lust! I told you, I wasn't going to have a part in your stupid war, I _told_ you -

— Shut up.

"Hello Lucifer," the Incarnation of the Sin of Lust greets upon opening the door. "That was a lovely speech you gave. Surely _these_ troops won't fleece in the first couple weeks!"

"You've been ignoring me," she replies, to the point as ever.

"No!" Asmodeus denies, not even skipping a beat. He crosses over to her with a gallantry that makes Furuichi puke and takes her hands - her two dainty doll-like hands - and kisses them both. "I don't know what would make you think that, but my allegiance has always been reserved for you." His left eyebrow twitches at the sound of Furuichi howling with laughter (unfortunately, his expression is hidden from Lucifer), but he continues: "I assure you, I've simply been busy."

"Busy?" Lucifer repeats, pulling away. "Busy with what, exactly?"

"Acclimating to this wretched body, catching up on the affairs of hell, and rallying the others for war, of course."

— You mean: sleeping with women, sleeping with women, and sleeping with even more women?

"And I've been trying to create a new body, of course," Asmodeus adds.

Lucifer whispers something.

And for once, Furuichi refrains from commenting.

"...What?"

"I _said_," the leader of the rebellion repeats, balling her little hands into little fists, "That I could try to give you a son."

Asmodeus stares. His jaw drops a little. And, in this split second, Furuichi takes control, wrapping the Incarnation of the Sin of Pride in a close embrace and whispering: "I would be honored."

And then he gives control back to the demon and returns to laughing madly.

"Oh Asmodeus," Lucifer calls, pulling back to kiss him fully on the lips.

Asmodeus screams internally.

— Don't tell me you didn't want this!, Furuichi screams back.

"Aaahhh..." she sighs, breaking the kiss. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

Asmodeus continues to scream internally.

— What is your problem?!

"Don't you..." Asmodeus starts, taking deep, slow, breaths, "For an occasion like this... don't you think you should use your... you know... real body?"

"Oh. Oh, of course," Lucifer replies. She snaps her fingers and the rose manifests itself. Demon and boy observe as she kisses it, sighing pleasantly and waiting for the petals to encircle her body. There's a hint of a transformation sequence and a dull red glow of light. And then...

— So that was just a copy of her original body?!

Furuichi joins the demon in screaming internally, as Lucifer has discarded her garments in the process of the transfer.

"I'm ready," she says, opening her eyes and leaning in for another kiss.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Asmodeus tries. "Uh... is there any way you can... you know..." he motions to his own bare chest, cupping imaginary breasts. "You know, well, I have a fetish for - "

Lucifer doesn't give him the opportunity to finish, giving him a roundhouse kick to the shoulder and forcing him onto the bed.

"You bitch," she whispers, floating to loom over him, "I offer you the body of the strongest of demons and you ask for breasts on top of that?" She scoffs, pulling off both layers of loincloth and eyeballing his cock.

"It's not about that," Asmodeus baldly lies.

"Shut up," she tells him, flipping her hair back and dropping the negligible excuse for a garment onto the floor and stealing another kiss. "Besides, I'll have you know I'm confined to this body. Part of my fall from grace, you know."

— What are the mechanics of demon pregnancy again?!, Furuichi demands as Lucifer begins sucking.

— Are you asking for a biology lecture?!, Asmodeus screams back.

— I'm asking if the baby comes out of the mother!

— I've told you time and again, don't compare us to insects! Our children are born from fire!

— ...Oh., Furuichi doesn't know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.  
— Well, there's a relief.

"...It won't fit," Asmodeus notes. He's unable to keep his own relief from bleeding through.

Lucifer narrows her eyes, not to be deterred. She snaps her fingers and assumes the form of a fully-grown woman - with only the slightest swell of breasts, most certainly out of spite.

"So you were lying?!" Asmodeus asks, even as she's shifting her hips.

"Dear," she murmurs, bangs moving covering her eyes in an almost cute way, "_Shut up_."

She then proceeds to impale herself on his cock. And he loves it - and in fact, so does the boy - loves every thrust and pull and twitch and grind of her. Her fingers, her lips, her thighs - her swelling, overwhelming, all-consuming _power_.

"Yes, yes, yes..." she chants, gripping his shoulders and throwing back her head. Underneath the two of them, the mattress squeaks in-tandem.

— I win, I win, I _win_! Furuichi gloats.

"Shut up...!" Asmodeus manages to growl, just as Lucifer climaxes, reverting back to her true form.

The change in bodies is two much, and still, she grabs his face with her little hands, eyes blazing with derision.

"Come," she orders. "Come for your Emperor, you piece of shit."

And he does.

And Furuichi screams.

And the horns, claws, and talons retract.

And, and, and -

There's a blinding hum of white and Furuichi feels the latter end of the orgasm coupled with the sudden loss of demonic energy. All in all, it's as if he were hit by a train. There's a pleasantly warm sensation and he remembers mouthing the words good-bye, though he did not hear his voice saying them.

After a while, his fingers twitch and he flexes them on instinct. Then he moves his tongue around the inside of his mouth, delighted to taste saliva and not blood. He opens his eyes and looks around, doubly relieved to find that Lucifer had gotten off. She's sitting on the edge of the bed and he sits up too.

"So..." he gingerly starts, fishing over the edge of the bed for the loincloth. It's not much, but it's better than nothing. "It... it looks like you'll have a son?"

Lucifer does not reply. Not immediately at least.

"Yes," she says, nodding slowly. Furuichi catches a glimpse of a trail of tears.

He's terrified, he's exhausted, and he'll be happy to go home (who knows how much time's passed?). But three thousand years of waiting is a long time for anyone. So he musters up his courage and puts a hand around the demon who clawed out his heart.

"He loved you."

"Of course."

_Well._

"But..." she sighs, shoulders lifting and then falling, "I'll have to postpone the war," she murmurs, leaning into the embrace.

"It's alright," Furuichi soothes, "You can kill the demon lord anyday."

And then the door flies up, along with the hallway and the rest of the palace.

"Furuichi," Oga breathes, walking out of the ruins alone, save for Baby Be'el on his back.

Furuichi's eyes widen to mimic saucers. And then he realizes his precarious position.

"Oga! Shit, wait," he starts, throwing his hands up in protest, "This isn't what it - "

And then he _is_ hit with the force of a train. In the guise of a hug, Oga _barrels_ into him, easily knocking him onto the floor.

"Fuck," his best friend says (and Furuichi swears he can hear his ribs cracking), "You're _alive_."

Be'el gurgles, waving a hand in greeting.

"...Yeah," Furuichi sighs, returning the gesture wholeheartedly. "I guess I am."

* * *

!

!

!

Admittedly, that's a bit of a cruel place to end off on, so I'll write an epilogue for the next chapter. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them now and I'll respond to them (along with a couple pre-emptive ones of my own) in the author's note after the epilogue. Thanks very much for reading this incredibly speculative and very self-indulgent piece of fiction, I hope you didn't mind any of the weirder bits.

Oh, and because someone already asked: yeah, I am planning on writing a one-shot regarding Oga's side. But it's not going to be part of this story as I really wanted it to concentrate on Furuichi.

Thanks again!


	5. His Oblivion

Asmodeus

* * *

V. His Oblivion

* * *

His family is, of course, the first group to visit him in the hospital. His little sister leaps onto him (probably cracking a couple more ribs in the process) and his mother grabs at his hand. His father pushes up his glasses and squeezes his son's shoulder, giving him a light ruffle.

"Well?" his father asks after the initial relief has worn off and everyone is filled with questions, questions, questions.

Furuichi laughs, still thrilled at having regained control - permanently.

_Nothing much Dad_, he hypothesizes saying, _I just had my heart taken out by a demon then kidnapped by her slave, then dragged off to Hell where I learned that I was the host body for the demon of lust and that the whole of hell was preparing for another civil war. Oh, and I was having constant mindblowing sex with beauties I never would've dreamed of dating, and this was the key to saving our world. Oh, and the reason I'm in the hospital at all? Because my stupid best friend cracked two of my ribs in greeting!_

_Hey!_, Oga's stupid face interrupts, _I said I was sorry, what more do you want?_

_Shut up and get out of my monologue,_ Furuichi responds, closing the metaphorical trapdoor.

"Brother's been acting really weird..." Honoka murmurs, pulling him out of the reverie.

"Huh? What?"

"Maybe it wasn't just his chest," his mother quibbles, hands reaching to feel around his skull despite having no medical knowledge whatsoever.

"Hey! Mo-om!" Furuichi whines, tugging the hand away. "I told you I'm fine. The doctor told you I'm fine. I just need rest," _and some retrograde amnesia_ "that's all."

"Takayuki," his father starts, expression serious. "Think fast. Spandex!"

"Xenon."

"Normal!"

"L-Light novel."

"Limb!"

"Breasts!" both men triumphantly exclaim.

Honoka flushes; her mother facepalms.

"I'm glad to see that my son remembers the most important things!" his father declares, wiping a dramatic tear from his eye.

"How is that the most important thing?!"

"I _told_ you I wasn't suffering from brain damage!"

"Like father like son..."

"Like I was saying," his father continues, clearing his throat and sitting down, "A fight every now and then is normal for a growing young man. You won't believe your old man, but let me tell you, I was involved in a couple exciting scuffles myself when I was your age."

Furuichi bites back a snicker at the idea of his balding father in the middle of a gang conflict.

"Sure dad."

"Dear!"

"But if you ever feel it's too much... well, that's what we're here for." He smiles then, looking his son in the eye: "Takayuki, do you intend to continue at Ishiyama?"

This time, Furuichi actually does laugh.

"Of course!" he swiftly answers, giving a confident thumbs-up. "I may run away at every opportunity - "

"But always turn back," his father concludes, returning the thumbs-up.

"Gross," Honoka winces, stage-whispering to her mother, "What did you see in a man like this again?"

"Oh I don't know," the matriarch sighs, stage-whispering back. And then she giggles like a schoolgirl (and both children feel their skin crawl), "But Daddy can be pretty cool at times too, no?"

"What do you mean 'sometimes'?" his old man demands.

His family bicker and squabble for a bit more and Furuichi finds himself joining in soon enough. Then his father receives a call and everyone's hauled off. His mother leaves with a basket of treats, promising to visit the next day, and the nurse sighs and shakes her head at their noisy departure. Furuichi sighs too, shuffling through a couple snacks before resettling against the pillow.

It's been a long couple days.

* * *

"Wow ~ "

"Uh. I don't think that's going to fit through the doorway..."

"I know. That's why I called you peons along."

"Haah? Who the fuck are you calling a peon?!"

"Hey, hey, if we help, does that me we can get a piece of the pie?"

"Fuck the pie, I want to try some of that chocolate!"

"Heave-hoh!"

Furuichi Takayuki cracks his eyes open to a golden gift basket attempting to wedge its considerable bulk through the hospital door. He promptly closes his eyes again, willing the alien monstrosity to go away.

"I'm telling you, it won't fit!"

"Pff - that's what she - "

There's the sound of cardboard hitting flesh. Furuichi winces.

"Hey! I think he's awake!"

_NO I'M NOT._

"Man, I knew I should've hired other people for this job..."

_I bet you're not even paying them."_

"Hey! You're not even paying us!"

"New plan: everyone take what you can hold and... just... pile it around him, okay? Hey! Asshole! Stop eating the damn chocolate!"

"Shut up, pretty boy!"

"Both of you, shhh!"

_Oh please, could you guys BE any more obvious?_

"Okay, quietly... quietly..."

"C'mon, go on!"

"T-Takayuki-kun..." his ears prick up at that purity-filled voice, "Would you like a chocolate-dipped strawberry?"

He's up and at 'em in _milliseconds_.

"Kunieda-senpai!" he trills, arms outstretched, "Of course I would love a - "

"S-sorry, Furuichi-kun," Aoi flushes, smiling weakly while sitting to his left.

"Takayuki-sama...!" Alaindelon sobs into his hankerchief, neglected strawberry still perched atop his nose. "To think that you were so close...!"

"Gaaah!"

"Hook, line, and sinker," Chiaki intones.

"Don't get the wrong idea, okay?" Nene insists, shoving the box of Godiva chocolates into his lap. "We didn't buy any of this!"

"Yeah, that would be Hime-chan," Natsume grins.

"Hey! Who're you calling '-chan'?!"

"This pie is really good though!" Paako remarks, licking the filling from her fingers. "Here, try some," she shoves a slice into Furuichi's mouth.

"Paako..." Kanzaki twitches. Nene elbows him and he grunts, crossing his arms. "Whatever."

"Here you go," Shiroyama grunts, heaving the perfectly-preserved display of fruits onto the bedside table.

"Now that's how all you guys should've been like," Himekawa sighs.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Furuichi starts, rubbing his temples. He pauses. "This _is_ a really good pie though."

"I know, right?!" Paako cheers.

"But if you had him," he points to Alaindelon, "...why not just ask him to transfer that through the doorway?"

"That's our Tactician," Natsume laughs, prodding his cheek with a banana.

"So where'd you go?" Nene asks, "All he - " she jabs a thumb at Himekawa, "said was that you might be dead."

"So we busted our asses looking for those Akumano kids," Kanzaki continues, "No thanks to him, of course." He laughs then, "But Toujou, that flake, he wouldn't take no for an answer. I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to track them down for a fight."

"Oh," Alaindelon sighs, "If only they had asked me for help. I would've been happy to lead them to you, Takayuki-sama."

"What's done is done," Himekawa grunts.

"Don't say it like that," Aoi admonishes, turning back towards Furuichi. "We were all worried about you, you know?" she smiles and Furuichi hears the trumpets of heaven, "It's good to have you back."

"...Really?" Furuichi asks, genuinely surprised.

"Of course," Nene sniffs. "Like it or not, you're one of us."

_He's one of us,_ Furuichi remembers saying. He laughs; figures those words would come back to bite him.

"General!" Kazuya exclaims, bursting through the doorway with Azusa and Miki in-tow, right as a dimensional portal opens up on the ceiling.

"Grandfather!" En screams, tackling the teenage boy, "Why didn't you come visit me?!"

"The Akumano founder?!"

"Eh? Ah... wait... no..." Furuichi blubbers, looking from one visitor to the next. Chiaki and Nene trade all-knowing glances. "Gaahhh, it's not like that," he tries.

"It never is, is it?" Nene asks, laughing softly.

"Master En," Yolda calls, gently disentangling the boy, "I've already told you, that's not your grandfather. It's just his empty shell."

"Couldn't you phrase that better?!" Furuichi demands.

"So what happened?" Kazuya asks, whipping out notebook and pen, "I've been having problems thinking up a cool enough plot for Mad Dog Oga and General Furuichi's Weekly Adventures, but I'm sure now - "

"We made you another omelette!" Azusa interrupts, presenting him with a plate. It still says 'Predator', of course, but now it's 'Predator Tactician'. Furuichi sighs and then laughs because, well, one step up is still a step up.

"You should visit more often," Miki mumbles, crossing his arms. "Otherwise we have to wait for the grapevine to relay information."

"No, he should visit _me_ more often!" En insists, breaking away from Yolda and grabbing at Furuichi's arm, "Behemoth and Jabberwock really suck at playing video games!"

"Young master!"

"I'm sure they would..."

"Did someone say video games?" Chiaki asks, a violent glint in her eyes.

"Oh? What's this? A party?" Toujou asks, making his grand appearance with Kaoru and Shoji. He manages to shove the rest of the gift basket through the door, edges of the wall notwithstanding.

"Took you long enough!" Kanzaki grunts.

"Whoops, my bad," Toujou laughs, "And it looks like Akumano's already here. Great." He pulls up his sleeves and turns to En. "Let's fight."

"Wait, you guys - "

"Yolda!" En calls, in the middle of a discussion with Himekawa and Chiaki of all people, "Can you take him?"

"It would be my pleasure young master!" the demon maid exclaims, pulling off her gloves with a flourish.

"Ah, hey, wait - "

A wad of chocolate frosting hits both combatants in the face. Yolda and Toujou turn to the unlikely culprit.

"Hey, um, you guys...!" Aoi starts, flushing wildly. "Ah... um... when you think of a fight in a party... d-don't you think of 'food fight' first?!" She laughs nervously at her own terrible joke.

_Oh god just kill me now,_ she internally shrieks.

"Aw yeah!" Kazuya shouts, scooping up a slice of pie and lobbing it high.

It lands on Himekawa's pompadour.

"You brat..." the zaibutsu heir growls, bits of high-class crust and custard dripping onto his face.

On opposite sides of the small room, Kanzaki and Paako hit the floor laughing hysterically.

All hell breaks loose after that.

* * *

"They're _impossible_..." Furuichi grumbles, combing bits of cake from his hair.

At least the girls stayed behind to clean up... although his family had to stumble upon the scene and it was _Alaindelon_ who needed to explain everything. Thankfully Miki had been included in the mix; he'd been grateful to have a more familiar (and _sane_) face to show to his parents.

The room smelled of sweets and fruit and the floor retained some of its previous stickiness. In short: it was thoroughly disgusting. He's only been ordered to remain in the hospital for a couple days however, and then it's home sweet home. Ishiyama's final exams are a joke after all.

"I thought they'd never leave," a voice drawls.

Furuichi nearly shits himself.

"L-L-Lucifer...!" he greets, forcing himself to smile. As expected, the Incarnation of the Sin of Pride stands before the doorway, perched on the shoulder of her spellmaster.

"And Takamiya," he quickly appends (it's a bit of a relief, he thinks, to have Takamiya there). "It's good to see you alive and well. I have to say, we were a bit surprised that you could walk after that."

"Hn." The other boy fiddles with his phone, not bothering to look.

"So?" Furuichi asks, turning to Lucifer. He has to fight to keep the blush down as, well, this was the girl... (_No,_ his conscience is very adamant about, _She is not a 'girl'. She is one of the great demons of hell. She is going to be a mother soon. She is older than humanity itself._)

"I do not remember needing to explain myself to insects," she casually replies.

Well.

"Why'd you come visit then?"

"Curiosity, I suppose." She floats up and leans over him, pressing their foreheads together and really _looking_ into his eyes. A pity, they've lost that brilliant green hue. He flushes and makes an attempt to back away. She lets him.

"You... I..." he starts, and the slight raise of his brow tells her that he's skirting the _truth_.

"Be careful what you accuse me of," she murmurs, planting a kiss on his brow. Furuichi flushes deeper still.

_Breasts, boy, breasts. Don't stray from the golden path,_ he remembers his father telling him. Truly, a man's man.

"So, uh... when the baby's born... am I supposed to be an uncle to him, or what?"

Lucifer actually laughs then. It's a deprecating laugh, of course, but a mark of good humor nonetheless.

"You can't be serious," she thinks about this, and laughs some more. "Oh - _oh_. I see. You're thinking of the energy level of Beelzebub's child." She pulls back and plants both palms on his chest, smiling wider still. "Didn't I tell you? Don't compare our power to insects, insect."

"I... wait... what - ?" he pauses, double-checking his chest. Gently, he prods at his ribs, surprised at the lack of pain. His glance passes from Lucifer, to Takamiya, and back to Lucifer. And then he breaks into a slow smile.

"You don't need a reason for him to visit, you know," he shrugs, stretching exultantly this way and that. "I'd like to see him, at least." _And try to keep from screaming at the idea of having a son._

"Maybe," she says, moving to peer out the window. She waves her hand and the screen slides out of the way. "Don't forget your place, and we'll see." she adds before flitting out the window.

An inevitably awkward silence settles between Furuichi and Takamiya.

"So... are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Sorry about Asmodeus... you know... kicking your face in."

"Okay."

"..."

"..."

"..._Well_?"

"What?"

"What?" Furuichi parrots. "_What_? You mean you're not gonna tell me 'sorry about Lucifer pulling your heart out'?!"

Takamiya levels him with a perfectly flat stare. One that drips with 'I can't be bothered to reply'.

Furuichi twitches.

"If I had known you were going to be his ungrateful, I would've just left you underneath that rubble!"

"Why didn't you?"

There's another beat and while Furuichi isn't at a loss, he's at a loss for the right thing to say. In the end, he settles for repetition, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Because like it or not, you're still one of us."

"Us?"

"Yeah. Us. Ishiyama."

Takamiya mulls this over, laughing lightly.

"Don't group me with you guys. Not when I'm the Emperor of Daten."

"Shinobu," Lucifer calls, fluttering in from the window and returning to his shoulder. "We're leaving."

"Okay."

"Wait," Furuichi blurts out. Takamiya pauses and Lucifer looks back. "What about Fuji?"

"Oh, Satan?" Lucifer smiles, tilting her head. "You'll hear from him soon enough."

"But Asmodeus said he was one of your commanders!"

"Sure. And I could probably stop him too." She chuckles. "His host however... well, that's another story."

"But - "

"See ya," Takamiya says, closing the door with a click.

Furuichi isn't even given time to breathe.

"I thought they'd never leave," Oga grumbles, pulling himself up over the window, Baby Be'el in-tow. Furuichi stares, not even surprised when Hilda and Lamia pop through too.

"Furuichi! You dummy!" Lamia exclaims, running up and lightly bopping him on the head. "Why didn't you... why didn't you..."

"Lamia," Hilda warns, shaking her head.

"I know, I know!" the diminutive doctor admits. She flings herself at Furuichi anyways though, headbutting him in the stomach. "You did everything you could, and you didn't do anything wrong. Still... I was so scared for you!"

"Huh?" Furuichi asks, comically turning from Hilda to Oga.

"Unfortunately," Hilda sighs, "The young master is still very responsive to his contractor's emotions..."

"You should've seen her," Oga yawns, casually pulling Lamia off, "Her bawling would've given the brat's brother a run for his money."

"Like you're one to talk!" Lamia jibes, kicking his shin.

"Hahaha... En... right..." It probably wasn't the best time to bring up the kid's latest nickname. And speaking of changing the subject... "Lucifer said that Fuji'll probably make a move soon."

"Satan," Hilda corrects with a tell-tale terseness to her voice.

"Whatever. That shitty teacher said he'll train me seriously from now on," Oga grumbles. Be'el cheers. "Hey, that's more work on your side too."

"That's good to hear," Furuichi sighs, leaning back against the pillows. Lamia moves to fluff them.

"So you've settled everything, right?" Oga asks, motioning to the closed door.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Good."

Oga then turns to Hilda. Hilda who, Furuichi realizes, was holding something behind her arms.

"While there is a difference between contractor and host and spellmaster..." she starts.

"But more between those two groups and host, right?" Furuichi asks.

"...Yes." Hilda clears her throat, surprised at the interruption. "Although there are differences between the three of them, it seems like humans do have a hand in their actions." She clears her throat again, eyes darting here and there. "A-Anyways, the Great Demon Lord, in seeing that you had a part - "

Oga coughs.

"Had a _large_ part in preventing an all-out civil war..."

Furuichi cannot believe his ears.

"...He would therefore like to present to you one of the most treasured artifacts of the royal family of hell. As a token of his thanks." Hilda's on the verge of tears, as she holds out a metallic rod a little skinnier than her wrist. It's curved on both ends and rimmed with little emerald-like jewels.

"Hilda. Wait. I-isn't that..."

"Oh, just take it!" the wet nurse sobs, thrusting it into his hands. "Young Master, I assure you, I have no idea why your father would give away such a valuable treasure, but... but... excuse me!"

She dashes out, slamming the door in her wake.

"W-Wait! Hey! Hilda-nee!" Lamia panics, giving chase.

"Hey," Oga says, scrutinizing the object. "Don't you think that looks like - "

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

"No, but seriously, doesn't it - "

"I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

"Okay, okay." For once, Oga doesn't press the issue, crouching down and sniffing the floor.

"Geez, you really _are_ like a dog..." Furuichi groans.

"...Is that chocolate?" Oga asks.

"Probably. The rest of them got it in their heads that a five-star dessert buffet was what I needed." He looks suspiciously at Oga. "I wonder who could've thought of such a stupid idea."

"Dabu!" Be'el blorbles, looking especially innocent.

"Dunno," his best friend shrugs, picking up something from under the bed before standing up. "I was going to, but it looks like that bastard Himekawa beat me to the chase."

"What? Giving me cavities?"

"No," he twirls the little plastic sign, tossing it to Furuichi.

_Get well soon,_ it says.

"Furuichi!" Lamia calls, throwing open the door. "I've brought back Hilda-nee!"

"I apologize," Hilda sniffles, dabbing at the corner of her eyes. "It was rude of me to leave without instructing you how to - "

"Yeah, yeah, you can tell him once he's out of the hospital," Oga interrupts, steering her back out the door.

Furuichi gives a loud sigh of relief.

"Babububu!" Be'el insists, waving his hand.

"No, you don't understand, it's actually a little complicated - "

"LA LA LA LA LA!"

"Don't get kidnapped!" Lamia _reminds_, sticking out her tongue before closing the door.

"Geez, with friends like that..." Furuichi snorts, unplugging his ears. He gives the sacred object a quick twice-over before chucking it under the bed. He gives the little sign a wry smile before chucking that too under the bed.

_I've had enough demon energy for one lifetime, thank you very much._

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_Fin._

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Q&A

_* What is up with the chapter titles?_  
The first reading is "His Areto", referring to the Amazons of ancient greece. They would continue their all-female society by forcing men (or, at times, a man) to impregnate the lot of them. The second reading is "His Erato", referring to a love song. Because, well, this story is about a love story... just one between two OC's (Asmodeus and Lucifer) and primarily concerned with a canon character (Furuichi) caught between them. The joke is that the first and third sections were reversed (in the initial plotting of this story), with flashbacks aplenty. The current order has better flow though. I didn't label it as romance because Furuichi doesn't have any romance... just lots of no-strings-attached sex and mass numbers (probably) of proxy children.

_* You said you would only write one-shots!_  
Yeah, don't expect multi-chaptered works from me. They're way too difficult and if I don't update everyday, there's a huge chance of me giving up.

_* What were your thoughts on 207?_  
It makes me really excited for 208. I wrote this fic to cope for the wait, nothing more and nothing less.

_* Why did Lucifer want to overthrow the current king?_  
Because she can and because she'd make a much better ruler.

_* How and when did Lucifer recognize Furuichi to be Asmodeus' container?_  
She suspected it after seeing him for the first time (because Furuichi actually looks like Lucifer, who is just a taller version of Furuichi with green eyes and horns/claws/talons), but only confirmed it when she tore out his heart and he was still alive. That's actually why it's become a habit of hers, to tear out opponents' hearts, so she can double-check for Asmodeus.

_* How much time has passed between the conclusion and Babu207?_  
Time flows differently from the human world and the demon world. Furuichi was in hell for two weeks, but it looks like he was only gone for a week in the normal world, including the two nights spent recuperating at Takamiya's place.

_* When you are going to post the side story?_  
Soon, hopefully.

_* After his encounter with Takamiya in the hallway, what was said that allowed Furuichi to "connect the dots"?_  
It's not really said rather than did. Furuichi, being quite self-deprecating, immediately doubted Asmodeus' reasoning for beating up Takamiya ("He was going to torture you.") and, in connecting the dots, realizes it's jealousy. Asmodeus, unfortunately, can read his mind and so, although Furuichi was trying to do 'something drastic' (taking control of his body for a split second of time) with Lucifer all week, Asmodeus was carefully steering him away. This ended up backfiring though, hahaha.

_* Was he sealed again?_  
Yes, no, maybe.

_* Why was Lucifer so sad?_  
The thing is, Asmodeus is a special case because he's such a strong demon. No one actually knows what happens if he's sealed away inside a host (note that Satan has a spellmaster, not a host), but they just guess - judging from lesser sealed demons - that his personality will overwhelm that of his host's. Obviously, it doesn't actually happen in the story, and as that was one of the key assumptions about hosts... it pretty much throws everything else they know out the window. So Lucifer is crying because she 'loves' (well, as much as a demon can... she's not very caring, even when they're fucking...) Asmodeus and doesn't know when (or if) she'll see him again.

_* Does the pregnancy period for a demon take a long time?_  
Again, no idea. The idea is that the more potential a demon has, the longer it'll gestate. The '3000 years is a long time to wait' refers to how long Lucifer had to wait to see Asmodeus again (assuming he was sealed during Solomon's time). Asmodeus is terrible with time so he says centuries and millennia but has no real idea since he was sleeping.

_* When Furuichi says he wants to save Beel's dad, did he mean Beelzebub III or Oga?_  
Beelzebub III. Lucifer isn't targetting Oga; she just wants the throne of hell.

_* The precarious position was him embracing Lucifer, right?_  
Nope, it was Lucifer being stark naked. Furuichi fishes for his loincloth after sex; Lucifer just mopes about on the edge of the bed.

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A/N

So you know how FFN statistics now show hits-per-chapter? I was pleasantly surprised to see that the flow of readers from chapter-to-chapter (from chapter two onwards) was nearly 100%! I figured some of the weirder chapters would turn people (who liked chapter one) off, but I guess that's not the case. Well, either way, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it. Please continue to support Furuichi, especially if the manga-ka chooses not to immediately revive him!


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